I found out that I was pregnant on a Thursday. I remember calling the doctor and wanting to go in right then to have my suspicions confirmed immediately. I had to wait until Friday. I didn't want to say anything to my mom or family until it was real. The next day, the doctor took delight in telling me that indeed, I was FINALLY going to be a Mommy!
Frank and I had been attempting to conceive for almost four years. I had been told by two different doctors that in all probability I would never conceive.
We left the doctor's office that day and bought a pair of baby booties (pink trimmed!) and a gift bag to surprise my Mom with the glorious news.
When she opened the bag, she started to cry and said, "What does this mean...does this mean?" And we both cried and nodded our heads. I think that this will be a favorite memory of mine for the rest of my life.
I was anxious about the pregency, as most first time Moms are. Everyone said, oh, once you get to twelve weeks you'll be fine. Well, on the morning that I made twelve weeks, I began bleeding. I knew that my dreams were shattered. We raced to the emergency room where we were told that my cervix was open and that there wasn't anything that could be done. Frank looked at me through his own tears, "What does that mean?" I remember telling him through sobs, "That means we lost the baby."
My O.B. doctor came into the E.R. and said that he wanted an ultrasound right away. He came with us down to x-ray to see the ultrasound performed. He was angry at the E.R. doctor for telling us what she had believed.
There she was!!! This tiny peanut. And there was the heartbeat!!! We didn't lose our baby! That doctor was WRONG!!!
This was to be the first of many hospital visits that all had the same conclusion. Threatened miscarriage.
At 20 weeks gestation, I began to have contractions. I was immediately put on bed rest and monitored. When I went in for my, now weekly visits, in my 25th week, my blood pressure was extremely high. I remember telling the doctor, of course through tears, that I felt something was wrong. He confirmed my fears and announced that I was going to be admitted to the hospital right then and there. My mom and mother-in-law were with me and I cracked a joke to ease the tensions and fears. Frank was called and so began a 10 day hospital stay.
On the 8th day of hospitalization, I was told that the baby was a girl. We all cried and I told my Mom, "We have our Marissa Gabrielle."
I was terribly ill by this time and the doctor thought it best to transport me to a hospital that could best care for my inevitable preemie. The decision was made.
I was now just past 27 weeks gestation. My blood pressure would spike up to 210/110 and then drop very low from the medications. I was given magnesium to ward off the contractions. This med is awful! On the morning of February 14th the doctor came and didn't like the way things were going. That morning's ultrasound showed that the baby was losing weight. "One more thing, and we are going to have to take the baby", is what I recall this specialist as saying. Well, sure enough, something did happen. I broke out in a rash all over. The doctor was called.
Dr. Chau arrived at the hospital shortly thereafter, and I was told that Marissa had an 80% chance of survival. Again, I attempted to ease the fear of my family and myself..."If it's 80% chance of rain, you know it's gonna rain, right?"
Marissa Gabrielle Myers was born that Valentine's Day 1995, at 5:55 p.m. She weighed 2lbs. 1 oz. and was 14 inches long. She had strawberry blonde hair and had fingernails and toenails to the amazement of all the doctors and nurses. Marissa was immediately taken to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU). She had to be recessatated three times before they took her from the delivery room. She did cry though. I heard her voice for the very first time that evening...she sounded like a tiny minnie cat. They wisked her away before I could even see her.
That night, as I was resting, on med, there was a knock at the door. It was a priest! My heart sank!!! I got so frightened that it took a moment to compose myself to hear what he was saying. "I baptized Marissa at your family's request. She is fine." I'll never forget that moment. "She's fine. She's fine!!!"
At around 10:45 p.m. a nurse came in with the first pictures of Marissa for me to get a glimpse of my precious child. I cried. I remember holding those photos so close and sleeping with them in my grasp.
Marissa Gabrielle!!! We had a girl!!! My Girl!!! My daughter!!! I was a Mommy and I had a baby girl!!!! We rejoiced!!!!